This article was written by Denise Eisele who is a NYS appointed Parent Advocate.  Denise has attended countless IEP meetings both  for her own children and for those who have requested a Parent Advocate.  She is now a Guilderland School Board Member and has offered these insights.

Preparing for a CSE meeting or a Child Study Team Meeting can be intimidating for parents even if you have been through it many times. I have several ideas that may take some of the anxiety away. These are simple and sometimes fun thinks that will work.

1. Preparation is key. When you get your letter stating the date and time of the meeting take a minute to look at the list of people who are also being invited. Do you know all those people and what their purpose is? If you don’t, contact your CSE chairperson and ask who the person is and what they will be presenting. One of the most intimidating aspects of a CSE is that large group of people smiling at you as you walk ever so tentatively in the door. They all know each other and have already discussed your child and have planned what they want done. You see yourself as the interloper and feel inadequate to speak up or disagree. So, we’re going to change that scenario.
2. Before the meeting, talk to as many members of the committee as you can so that they will understand your concerns, expectations, and goals for your child. This isn’t as daunting as you think. It will probably include your child’s teacher, aide, speech therapist, OT, PT and maybe school psychologist. There shouldn’t be ANY surprises for you at the actual meeting. You should know before the meeting what will happen and what the recommendations will be.
3. If you can, bring someone with you. It can be your spouse or a friend but it sets a different tone. You are not alone and they see someone coming in with you. As you walk in the room, take a second to scan the room and find the person who will be running the meeting. That frequently isn’t the CSE chair. Take the seat next to that person. Don’t under any circumstances sit at the end by yourself. Walk in confidently and make sure you bring either a file folder, brief case or something official looking. Have a pad of paper and pen readily available. Don’t dig for anything. Greet everyone generally with a gracious smile and sit down. At that point gently take control of the meeting. Thank everyone for coming and then get the meeting started by talking about your child and his/her needs. Everyone there is a member of the same team and the point of that meeting is to talk about the needs of your child and their educational setting.
4. Each member of the team will give some kind of report on what your child is doing. They should be telling you that report, not the CSE chair. If you don’t understand something, such as testing scores etc. ask for clarification. Again, there shouldn’t be any surprises here. After the reports are given if you still have questions or concerns, bring them out. Don’t walk out of the room muttering “I don’t understand, I don’t understand”.
5. As part of the IEP or 504 annual review, there is always paperwork to go over. It can be quite confusing looking at the pages and trying to pick out what is being said. Please do stop the flow if you are lost or not quite sure where everyone else is. They do this all the time but you see it once a year and the system keeps changing the paperwork. Ask the group leader to slow down, explain more and take time to explain things. Please don’t sit there nodding your head if you’re not getting it. The team will think you understand and you will only get frustrated. No one will fault you for stopping and saying “Wait”.
6. If you disagree with the plan for your child you have that right. You don’t have to sign the IEP or 504 at that time. You can request another meeting and spend that time meeting with the people you need to meet with to either come up with a compromise or what your child actually needs. You will not be seen as an ogre or terrible person. If you do this in a calm and assertive way it is easily accomplished. I have been in many meetings as an advocate and seen many parents who think that if they yell really loudly all will be given to them. That doesn’t happen. It just creates ill feelings all around. Many of the people I have seen at these meetings are trying to help. You may not like how they are going about it and that is your right. But if you approach the situation calmly and professionally (your child is your job) you will accomplish much more. So if you disagree with the plan, calmly state that at this time you can’t sign the IEP or 504 and could another date be set for a meeting.
7. If you agree with everything that is said you have one more job to do before signing the EIP/ 504. Make sure you understand exactly what services will be in place and who will be delivering them and how often. A common mistake for parents is when they hear that there will be an aide in the classroom for their child and they assume it is for their child. Wrong. It is the aide that is always in the classroom and that aide has a ton of tasks and your child is one of 19. Unless it says 1:1 aide then it isn’t for your child. So ask lots of questions. How often does my son get OT? Where is it given? Is his reading in the classroom or out? When do these services start? Teachers have a routine that they are used to but parents don’t necessarily know what that routine means. Ask how you would contact your child’s teacher with questions. Don’t wait until the open house at the end of September to ask that question. If you think your child will need it, ask if a team meeting can be set up the first week of school to bring to the new team up to speed. This is usually only done for kids with a lot of needs because the teachers are pretty busy getting to know the kids. The other thing is to bring a copy of your child’s IEP or 504 to his new teacher the day before school starts or ASAP after school starts. It is amazing how those things get lost in the system and your child’s teacher hasn’t seen it yet.
8. At the end of the meeting before it descends into chatter, thank everyone involved for coming to the meeting and for their input then regally sail out the door. Congratulations! You can hear the applause of the all the parents who have left in tears.